The Mom Talk Book Club discussion continues with Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop Fighting and Raise Friends for Life written by Dr. Laura Markham.
How can you be a peaceful parent? Here are the highlights from this episode & the book club selection...
3 BIG Practices
- Self-regulation - We can either calm a child’s storms or worsen them depending upon our response
- Connection - “Every child needs to feel heard, understood, and valued, just for being herself, or she will feel unsafe and act out. Connection is what motivates children to follow our guidance
- Coaching instead of controlling - A coach teaches and supports a child to develop as his best self... If the child isn’t choosing the behavior, he doesn’t ‘own it.’
* A peaceful parent will not always be peaceful... “What distinguishes a peaceful parent is the commitment to self-regulation, connection and coaching instead of controlling. That commitment changes our behavior, one action at a time." - Dr. Markham
Parenting skills that help you become a more peaceful parent
Return yourself to calm
It’s a practice and will get easier over time
Get enough sleep and get your basic needs met
Set alarms to return to calm
Train yourself to notice when you’re starting to slide down the low road
DO NOT take any action until you have centered yourself
* You can do this when your kids are fighting before you intervene
What are we modeling whenever we yell?