The Mom Talk Book Club discussion continues with Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop Fighting and Raise Friends for Life written by Dr. Laura Markham.
So, how does peaceful discipline support the sibling relationship? Here are the highlights from this episode & the book club selection...
1. Why punishment is ineffective
2. Rethinking discipline
3. Teach with peace instead of force.
* Peaceful parents know they cannot change their child’s behavior - only the child can do that. SO we create a relationship of trust with our child so that she’s open to our guidance. His healthy choices yield happy results in his life, so he sees the benefits and begins to ‘own’ those desirable behaviors.
4. Setting Empathetic Limits
5. Take a deep breath and center yourself, then set the limit with empathy, reconnecting and acknowledging the child’s point of view
6. Rethinking Time Outs
7. Time-outs DO NOT teach kids to be nice to each other. Why & how.
*Time-outs are a form of love withdraw and may even spark more misbehavior.
Peaceful parenting is about raising kids who want to follow your family rules.
8. The differences between consequences & limits
* ‘Natural consequences’ a re a result of the child’s behavior, and you have nothing to do with creating them.
* ‘Limits’ are boundaries you establish about what behavior is permitted in your family. If your child crosses that boundary, you lovingly redirect him. If he cannot follow your limit, you remove him from the situation.
* Instead of enforcing, you’re coaching, supporting the child to meet your expectations.
* This IS NOT coddling! What is your child learning from an unpleasant consequence?
9. What if empathy doesn’t work?
10. Preventive Maintenance
13. Daily roughhousing
14. Special time
15. Got more than one kid flipping out at once?