One of the greatest gifts my parents ever gave me was a divorce. Don't get me wrong; I honor, respect and believe in the sanctity of marriage. But my parents' relationship was not working out for them and had the potential to taint my relationship with my Dad. My parents divorced in 1983. I was just two years old. My mom made it her mission to not let my parents' personal matters effect my relationships with them and I must say mission accomplished!
My mom had an open door policy with my Dad. There were no set visitation days or custody issues. He could come visit my brother and me whenever and wherever he chose. He would take us on vacations, and we even went on a vacation together in 1989 to visit family in Detroit. I never felt like he was an outsider, but instead felt like he was, well my Dad! He just happened to live somewhere else. lol All of this allowed me to develop a very, very special bond with my father, a bond that helps me keep myself together whenever everything else around me seems to be falling apart. Here is why this mommy needs her daddy now more than ever!
- He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I didn't need to win a crown or wear the latest fashions for my dad to make me feel beautiful. You see, it has absolutely nothing to do with the exterior. While he does compliment me on my hair or a nice outfit I may be wearing, he often compliments me on what makes me beautiful from the inside-out. He reminds me of how caring I am and how much I give of myself to others. Those are the qualities that make me truly feel beautiful and my dad is always right there to remind me of that.
- He makes me feel like the most intelligent and wise person in the world. Math is not a strength of mine, and you know what...my dad never mentions it! Instead, he focuses on my strengths, reminding me of all of the things I do well and know well. This gives me the confidence to not only play up my strengths, but to work on my weaknesses as well. Knowing what I am good at doing makes me want to work harder on the things that don't come as easily because I know that I can at least do some things right! ;) Oh, and he reminds me of how wise I am. He will often quote my maternal grandfather and say, "A wise person can act like a fool, but a fool can't act like a wise person." Wisdom comes from deep down in your soul and it comes with life experiences, oftentimes painful experiences. Whenever I am going through trials and tribulations, my dad helps me to find the lessons learned and the good choices I have made in the midst of pain. That's good stuff!
- Those daily phone calls are always right on time. We talk daily since we live far away from each other. He's always checking in to see how his girls are doing (me and my 2 daughters). Most of the time things are great, but on those days whenever I'm on my 4th cup of coffee and don't think I can push through, we can at least laugh about it together. We talk about everything from politics, to football, to my growing business and so much more. I look forward to those chats, and now that he can text too AND he's a night owl like me, I can text him whenever I'm up with a teething baby, giving me yet another boost!
- He makes me feel special. Let's face it, once you become a mother your feelings often take a back seat. This baby of the family was no longer the center of attention and that was OK with me, but everyone needs to feel special every once in a while. Just when I feel like I'm nothing more than a robot making things happen, my dad tells me he's proud of me and that I'm a wonderful mother. WOW! You can't beat that feeling, especially when it comes at a moment when you're wondering if people know you still exist!
- He keeps it real. My parents compliment each other so well and they don't even realize it. My mom is the typical mom, pouring her emotions into everything she says and I love that and I need that! My dad, on the other hand, gives it to me straight, no fluff. I may be crying hysterically and he says so calmly, "Calm down. Get yourself together" then he proceeds to basically tell me like it is, not too rough, just real. His talk always brings me back to reality and while there are times whenever I don't want to hear it (I do that with my mom too), I always come around and see the light!
I could say so much more, but you get the idea. This mommy needs her daddy! I am so blessed to be both a mommy's and daddy's girl, one not taking the place of the other, yet each parent filling my heart and spirit with joy, peace and confidence. May I do the same for my girls! I LOVE YOU DAD!!!
P.S. Oh and did I mention he's a Veteran?! Yet another reason to love this man!!! Thank you to all of the men and women who serve our country and keep us safe!
What intangible gifts has your dad given you? Please share in the comments below! I'd love to hear about them! <3