When do you tell your child to get out?

Millennials catch a lot of heat for a lot of things. One hot button issue that's been brought to the forefront thanks to this generation is "When do you tell your child to leave the house."

The economy has not been nice to millennials, to say the very least. This has resulted in many young people making the decision to return home after graduating college, or not leaving home at all. I recently had a conversation about this with someone close to me. Now, let me make something very clear; I am NOT writing about this issue from a mother's perspective! I mean, how can I whenever I have a newborn and a toddler in the house? Instead, I am writing from a daughter's perspective and here is my take on this topic based upon my personal experience...

We live in a world of extremes; everything has to be black or white. If you fall in the middle on a subject, you are seen as being flaky. Here we have a situation where some parents are sitting at the kitchen table looking at their twenty-something, while on the opposite end of the spectrum, we have another group of parents who are adamant that their child must get out of the house at the age of 18 and can never come back. My Mom would humbly say she is not a perfect mother and could have done some things better, but this is one of many things she did right...

Telling your child to get out of the house at the age of 18 and get a job or go to school is a bit harsh and a little too late if you ask me. Also, having children who are overly dependent on you and unable to step out on their own is not healthy either. You see, my Mom didn't wait until high school graduation day to tell my brother and me to get out and make something of ourselves; this was something she instinctively engrained in us our entire lives up to that point! She didn't have to tell us to leave. She raised us to become independent, productive citizens and we were already acting on those values before age 18. My brother and I always had a job - from tutor, to grocery bagger, to fast food worker - no job was beneath us. We busted our tails, earning our own money and developing a strong work ethic, all while feeling the love and support of our parents and grandparents.

So both of us went on to college and had two very different journeys/life experiences, but two things were the same. First, we knew we had to work hard and earn our way to our ultimate goals. The next commonality is that we knew in our hearts and minds that should we stumble or fall along the way, we could always come back home while we picked up the pieces. Both of us ended up returning home as a pit stop along the journey of life, to refuel and get our wits about us, but we NEVER saw it as a permanent condition. There was never a time during our stay where our mother had to say the infamous words, "Get out," rather we instinctively set time frames and goals for ourselves and moved on accordingly.

This is one of those scenarios that you can fall in the middle; this situation absolutely requires balance! My prayer is that I can achieve the same success with my girls when it comes to this life lesson. I want my girls to learn and practice hard work and independence, while at the same time knowing their Mama's got their back! Wish me luck!