The 7 biggest mistakes women make when they become mothers

Before I even get started with my list, let's address the title of this blog post. I'm sure the word "MISTAKE" caught your attention, so let me clarify which definition I'm using. 

Whenever I'm referring to the 7 biggest mistakes women make when they become moms, I am talking about "a misconception or misunderstanding." Indeed, motherhood is one of those life events that you cannot fully prepare yourself for. It's not until you are living the role of "mother" that your five senses truly come alive while you attempt to make sense of it all, and let me tell you something; you will NEVER be able to make sense of it all because it is an ever-changing, ever-evolving journey! I'm new to it and that became very clear real quick!

I am presenting this list to moms-to-be and moms of children of all ages, races and backgrounds - single moms, divorced moms, working moms, stay-at-home moms...You get the idea. I present this list with love and the hope that you will truly embrace the journey! 

Here are the 7 biggest mistakes women make when they become moms...

 

  1. Trying to do it alone. The old African Proverb says, "It takes a village to raise a child," yet once we become mothers, all of a sudden we believe it is solely our duty to take care of our bundle of joy. Nothing can be further from the truth! Yes, our children need their mommy more than anyone else, especially at infancy. BUT the journey is not for you to travel alone. Not only does your child need to be surrounded by the love and support of other family members and loved ones, but YOU need love and support now more than ever! Be sure to surround yourself and your child with loving and supportive people and be sure to give that love and support back to them as well. Let your support system know just how much you appreciate them! Oh, and if you don't feel that you have the love and support of family, or even friends, there are plenty of support groups for you to turn to that will welcome you and your child with open arms!
  2. Trying to be perfect. Perhaps my favorite quote about motherhood is by Jill Churchill and it is this: "There is no perfect way to be a mother and a million ways to be a good one." YES! Please stop trying to be perfect because there is no such thing! Trust yourself and your motherly instincts! Those instincts have been placed deep down inside you and if you mess up, it's OK! As long as you and your child are alive and well, out of harms way, no harm done!
  3. Listening to too many people. Once you become a mother-to-be, people, especially mothers who have "been there done that," will be all to eager to impart their "wisdom" and advice upon you. Everyone becomes the expert and you just become even more confused and insecure. Do yourself a favor and make a decision right away to create a "village" of mothers you will go to for advice, and keep this circle small! Close relatives and friends who you know have your best interest at heart should have a place in this circle and no one else! People are going to dish out their ten cents whether you ask for it or not, so be prepared for that as well. But here's the deal: People have a right to state their opinion, but you also have the right to dismiss it! A nice "thank you" and walk away usually does the trick. For me, I always seek counsel from God first and foremost.
  4. Thinking you're not enough. "You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody," is a quote by Dr. Maya Angelou and should be one of your mantra's in motherhood! YOU ARE ENOUGH! God has entrusted YOU with the incredible job of being the mother of your child or children because He knew YOU would be the one to be the best mother in the world for your offspring! That alone should help you to breathe easy and face any and every challenge along the way with confidence, grace and assurance that you are up to the task!
  5. Not living in the moment. I recently wrote a blog post called "I wish I had known to feel." It basically sums up this "mistake," we moms tend to make. Just be sure to take a moment to STOP "doing" and start "living." In the midst of doing laundry, feeding your newborn or taking the kids to soccer, pause and do more than just look at your child; look into your child's eyes. Laugh with your child. Cry with your child. Just FEEL! 
  6. Not taking care of yourself. So often, we hear moms say things like, "I haven't even had a chance to eat yet because I'm so busy taking care of the kids!" I know because I am one of those mothers! It's imperative that we take care of ourselves so that we can be at our best to take care of our children and others whom we love and hold dear. It may be on the go, but try to eat well and take moments to get yourself together mentally. NO EXCUSES! So, don't have someone to watch the kids? There are plenty of affordable drop-in daycare facilities if you don't have a relative or friend to watch your child. Some churches even offer services like this for free! 
  7. Judging other moms. While we're all on the journey of motherhood, each journey looks different. Our children are different; our life circumstances are different. There is NO room for judging anyone at anytime, and especially whenever it comes to parenting! The "thing" you are judging is only part of a much bigger picture that you know absolutely nothing about. We need to support each other, not judge each other! Check out this Similac Moms: The Mother Hoodcommercial for a nice visual of what I'm talking about!

    Are you ready to find joy, peace and inspiration for your journey in motherhood? Join a community of moms for the 30 Days of MOMSPIRATION program! Be the FIRST to get the latest info by clicking HERE!