10 things you should not say to a new mom

Aahhhh . . . this picture was taken during my first pregnancy, you know whenever I didn't have a clue what I was getting myself into! Yes, those were the days! Perhaps one of the most surprising elements of new motherhood was the absolutely ridiculous, or inconsiderate, things that seem to fly out of people's mouths! Check out my top 10 list. Once the hormones have settled down, take a deep breath and know that most people do not mean any harm. They just don't think before they speak. More importantly, what people say or think does NOT matter! Just take it one moment at a time on this Mommy journey and focus on building a life full of love, peace and happiness for your baby!

Now, let's have some laughs!

1. "He/she looks just like Daddy!" or "He/she looks nothing like you!" Grrrrrrr this one took the cake! After over 9 months of nausea, swollen ankles, 14 1/2 hours of labor and an emergency C-section, this comment couldn't have irked me more! Don't get me wrong! I absolutely loved this comment the first 5 dozen times I heard it. After all, our baby had been a part of me for the past 9+ months. It was nice to share the moment with Daddy! Oh but next thing you know, my ears were ringing with remarks like, "That ain't your baby!" What made it so horrible is that it was often the first thing that people would say whenever they saw the baby! How rude! Next thing I know, everyone from Great-Grandpas to Auntie to the next door neighbors were getting credit for some feature that our little angel possessed. It was as if I were a surrogate! I continue to get the "She looks nothing like you" comment despite the fact that she looks a lot like both of us. However, it doesn't sting as bad now that I have my Mommy feet on the ground and an amazing relationship with my child. Anyone who knows her, knows good and well who her Mama is! ;)

2. "You look tired." Really??!!! You mean after countless sleepless nights I don't look like Tyra Banks on the runway?! Get out of here! I thought for sure I looked like a shoe-in for George Clooney's next girlfriend! Need I say more? Oh yes, I do! If I look so tired, then why are you not offering to come over and help me get some rest, or a hot date night (with Daddy NOT George Clooney)???!!! LOL

3. "Enjoy every moment; the time goes by so fast!" Listen, when you are in the middle of learning how to be a Mommy and a sane person, it is all you can do to put one foot in front of the other. You are madly in love with your little one. You don't need someone telling you to enjoy the moment. You need someone praying for you! Trust me, mothers are enjoying more  special moments with their newborn than these people can ever imagine.

4. "Are you going to have more kids?" Can the stitches fall out of my incision first?! Geez folks! Let a Mama get herself together and acquainted with her present baby before even thinking about having another munchkin!

5. "You don't have to put all those layers on the baby!" You had your years to raise and care for your children. Let this Mama take care of hers please! Unless my child is beet red and sweating bullets, I think Mommy and Baby will be just fine.

6. "Just wait until he/she starts teething!" Your poor baby can barely hold his/her eyes open and people are already talking about teeth?! Slow down folks! My daughter was barely 2 months and I had people already preparing me for the "Terrible Two's." Oh my!

7. "I'm just looking out for your child's best interest." Yes, I'm sure you are, however, Mommy has been looking out for baby long before anyone else. Mommy has already made sacrifices galore (i.e. special diets, change in lifestyle, etc.) before this little angel made her grand entrance into the world. No one has her best interest more at heart than Mommy (and Daddy).

8. "Are you breastfeeding?" What I am doing, or not doing, with my breasts is my business (and perhaps my hubby's)! Just rest assure that I am seeing to it that my child gets the nutrition she needs to thrive in life.

9. "My child didn't use a pacifier." Great! Glad that worked out for you. As for me and my daughter, pacifiers are ok. This is a decision that you make for your child. Trust me; this is just the beginning of people questioning your parenting choices. Stand strong and firm in your beliefs and practices!

10. "Why is he/she crying?" or "Let him/her cry it out!" Bottom line; you are seeing to it that your child's needs are met and you are doing all that you can to make your child feel loved, nurtured, comfortable and happy. You owe NO ONE an explanation. As for the crying it out thing, do yourself a favor and parent your child the way you see fit. Some Mommies can put their little bundle of joy in the crib and walk away, with screams echoing down the hall while other Mamas can't bear the sound of their precious babe crying hysterically. Go with what YOU feel comfortable with. Keep it real Mamas!!! ;)